In the year 2012, I would like to write at least:

24 new short stories of at least 500 words each.

12 new Op/Ed pieces.

15 movie/television/music reviews.

10 poems.

40 blog posts of substantial content.

And I would like to read six days a week for at least an hour a day.

Good luck to everyone else setting lofty goals!

1. Melancholia

Melancholia made it onto very few critics top ten lists for 2011, and I get that. Mr. von Trier is not the most popular belle at the ball due to some more than unfortunate comments at Cannes and general douchebaggery around town. I think it’s okay to not be a fan of von Trier as a person while still praising and appreciating his art. Melancholia is a visually stunning, emotionally wrenching, intellectually and spiritually stimulating masterpiece. As a depressed person, as a film student, and as an artist, Melancholia weighed heavily on me. It’s not a film for everyone, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad or inaccessible. Just that, for those who get it, Melancholia might mean the world.

You can read the review I wrote of Melancholia here.

2. Florence and the Machine- Ceremonials

I’m a big fan of Florence Welch’s debut album, Lungs, which I thought was an ultimately more varied and interesting album than Ceremonials. But with it’s soaring choirs, banging pianos, and tinkling harp, Ceremonials captured mood better than most pop art out there right now. Brooding, dark, yet uplifiting, Welch juxtaposes macabre lyrics and occasional haunting melodies with rock rhythms and soul sensations. Ceremonials finds joy in it’s contridictions as it finds fatal flaws with life and humanity. If only the No Light music video hadn’t been so ignorant and stupid when it came to race, Welch’s magic might have continued on to video art, an art form so many artists are taking wonderful advantage of right now.

3. Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation is the best comedy on television right now. It’s smart, it’s funny, it’s relevant, and it almost never makes a sexist joke. Parks and Rec is proof that “edgy” comedy is not the end all of brilliant wit, and that those creative enough can find hilarity in optimism. Never has such a positive show been so laugh out loud amazing. Women are good at what they do, have solid, supportive, un-catty friendships. Relationships between men and women are cute and strong and mostly drama-free. And yet we still tune in every week. Comedians and all those who try to be funny: take note. You don’t have to be an asshole to make people laugh. And Amy Poehler is my hero.

4. This American Life

I discovered This American Life in a real way this year. I listened to over 100 episodes for the first time. I’m a bus driver, and they allow us to listen to speakers while we drive the bus. So as I went back and forth between on end of town and the other, I listened to Ira and the gang as they talked about middle school, amusement parks, and psychopaths. I fell in love: with radio, with storytelling, with America. 2011 was a particularly good year for new episodes, but almost every episode of This American Life is worth listening to. I literally laugh or cry (or both) with every single one. If you have a heart, listen to This American Life (and donate to them!).

You can also read an Op/Ed I wrote inspired by This American Life here.

5. David Lynch- Crazy Clown Time

Ok, so this one is mostly for David Lynch fans. I wouldn’t recommend Crazy Clown Time to just anyone. Even my boyfriend, who likes Inland Empire, didn’t care for this album. I think this is a strong freshman effort from the master of atmosphere. Crazy Clown Time is a masterpiece of atmosphere. Lynch’s voice can be a bit grating for those who don’t take to his nasal, squeaky tone, filtered through a variety of distortion devices. But what’s left for those who can take it is a half electronic half weird bluesy album for listening to while driving on the dark road to nowhere.

You can read my review for this album here.

6. Lady Gaga’s Marry the Night Music Video

My Lady Gaga obsession has withered considerably since the release of Born This Way. Nothing on Born This Way comes close to The Fame Monster in terms of sheer dance-ability. Plus I was unimpressed with the lazy, obvious song writing on the titular track. I am far from convinced that Gaga is the ally to the queer community she thinks she is. But worst of all, no music video from Born This Way came close to the wonder that was the video art of “Bad Romance”, and the lesser but still good “Telephone”. Music videos from Born This Way lack creativity and, more importantly, a certain bizarre-ness that was the trademark of “Bad Romance”. I’d basically given up on Gaga, moved on to better things, like Nikki Minaj.

But the music video for “Marry the Night” is really funky fun. That line about the Bedazzler? Brilliant. The dancing? Head-bopping. The cherrios? Okay, maybe that’s a bit over the top. It’s strange, it’s nonsensical, it’s no Bad Romance, but I’m starting to think think nothing ever will be again. Lady Gaga basically tricked millions of mainstream Americans into watching short art films. That’s something to be proud of.

7. Nicki Minaj’s Super Bass

“Super Bass” was kind of the sleeper track on Minaj’s 2010 album Pink Friday. With songs like “Fly,” “Blazin’” and “Check It Out,” I didn’t even realize “Super Bass” was on the album. But that boom-ba-doom-doom-boom-ba-doom-doom bass inflitrated my ears, head, and heart until it was all I wanted to listen to. Combined with a bubble gum/pepto bismal colored music video, “Super Bass” is easily one of the best songs of the year.

8. Adventure Time

Now in its third season, Adventure Time has found its footing. Early episodes after the premiere in 2010 were hit and miss, with strokes of brilliance like “Ricardio the Heart Guy,” (guest staring George Takei) and less exciting eps like “Prisoners of Love”.  But in its second and third season, Adventure Time has hit the perfect mix of weird, wonderful, and just disturbing enough for college students and kiddies alike. Complete with vampires, post apocalyptic wastelands, a gender swap episode, and D&D references, Adventure Time will hopefully be around for a long time to come. Hear your fans, Cartoon Network! And may the late, great, Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack rest in peace.

9. Jane Eyre

The Byronic hero makes a smoldering screen appearance in yet another rendition of Charlotte Bronte’s gothic classic. Atmosphere, mood, and feminism all play major characters in this haunting screen adaptation. Fassbinder is clearly going places in both his career and amongst fan girls, but I hope Mia Wasikowska becomes a regular in masterful, brooding roles. From the misty hills to the dark manor, Jane Eyre took old tropes and made them fresh, exciting, and accessible for a new generation.

10. The Rick Perry Unpopular Opinion Meme

Pop culture references, mocking homophobia, a failing Republican presidential candidate. What more could you want in an internet meme?

Full blog of Unpopular Opinion Rick Perry here.

Well that’s all for now, folks. If you can’t tell, I didn’t watch a whole lot this year, so there’s obviously some stuff missing. Like, I haven’t seen the most recent season of Breaking Bad, otherwise that would probably be up top. But it’s just a challenge for next year to do better.

Happy New Year!

I get really excited subbing out stories. Like, shot of adrenaline with every “submit” click excited. I’m at the beginning of what will hopefully be a long a fruitful writing career, so the idea that someone else out there will like my writing enough to want to share it with the world is a thrilling promise of a future. Not to mention the little ego boost people in their early twenties both desperately want and probably don’t need.

You might be getting a hint of my writing style by now. Compound, run-on sentences, too many comas, rambling thoughts, and a whole lotta modifiers are the kind of things probably getting me rejected right now. Also, a lot of the stories I have out right now aren’t all that good. I rarely write fully developed characters, I have a hard time with endings, and I often suffer from everyone’s dialog sounding like my own. I’m aware of what’s wrong in my writing and I’m working on it, by reading and writing as much as possible. Editing the writing of others has also done wonders.

So it’s no surprise when I get a rejection. But expectation only takes away some of the sting. No matter how hard I try, every rejection hurts a little bit, even the ones I know are coming.

I’ve got a fair bit to say about subbing, including paying mags vs. non-paying, aiming high, the reality whole concept of shooting for the moon to land among the stars, but that’s for another day. What’s relevant here is that shooting for the moon involves a whole lot more toppling painfully to earth than shooting for more nearby objects. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it, just means you’ve got to be up for it.

I’m still new to this game, but my skin is toughening quick. I know it’s not about me as a person, and it might not even be about me as a writer. Some of my writing, especially the stuff I believe in, will eventually find a home. If I keep telling myself that, if we all keep telling ourselves that, it’s only a matter of time before success is delivered to our inboxes.

Well, either that, or we go down fighting.

Either way, every time my phone tells me I have an e-mail, I go running. Every time it’s a rejection I feel for a whole ten seconds like crying. Then I sub right back out again and benefit from my little submission rush. It’s a cycle of uppers and downers I won’t tire of anytime soon. And the one time I did get an acceptance letter, I cried for a good ten minutes. There’s audio on my mom’s voice mail as proof. I think it’s worth the burn.

Happy New Year! May 2012 be the year of thicker skin for the lot of us.

Welcome to my brand new website! It was a Christmas gift from the lovely man in my life and I’m very excited about it. You can go see my art, my makeup work, and most importantly, my writing. Hopefully there will be regular blog posts about life and adventure. But in the meantime, take a look around.

Happy Holidays!

Victoria

Film director David Lynch is known for highlighting the weird inherent in the mundane. His portraits of bizarre American life include the surreal horror of unexpected fatherhood, the literal nightmare of abuse and crime in a sleepy logging town, Dennis Hopper ripping on nitrous oxide behind the façade of white picket fences, and whatever the heck Inland Empire is supposed to be. His worlds are not for everyone, often leaving viewers confused and frustrated with the apparent lack of logic included in the screenplay. But for those who appreciate his dream world, it can be a place where the dark side of humanity is explored through the absurdity of dancing prostitutes, severed ears, and Nicholas Cage talking to fairy godmothers. It is those fans who will most appreciate his newest creative endeavor; his debut electronica album, Crazy Clown Time.

Crazy Clown Time starts off strong with “Pinky’s Dream,” featuring appropriate guest vocals from Karen O. It is unfortunate that she does not appear on more of the album, as the most distinctive sound present in almost all the songs in Lynch’s distinct squeaky, nasal tone, albeit distorted through a variety of filters. Anyone who has listened to an interview or DVD commentary with the director can pick his tone out from behind any electronic warp though. It’s not that Lynch is ear grating, just far from the average singing voice, and occasionally too silly. More vocal variety could not have hurt, especially from Ms. O, whose yelps and wails compliment the eerie, bluesy tone in  “Pinky’s Dream,” and that runs through much of the rest of the album.

The second track “Good Day Today,” is the most commercially viable, although “Pinky’s Dream” is also fairly mainstream. A steady base and simple electronic chords support straightforward lyrics: “So tired of fear/So tired of smoke/Send me an angel/Save me/I wanna have a good day today.” A later verse replaces fear and smoke with the sound of gunfire, a rare obvious message in Lynch’s work. But while “Good Day Today” and “Pinky’s Dream” are catchy and ready to be consumed by a mass audience, the rest of Crazy Clown Time swings between dull, goofy, and too weird for pure listening pleasure.

Tracks like “Noah’s Ark” and “I Know” rely on a basic electronic aesthetic, with catchy but simple riffs repeated over and over. It often sounds like Adult Swim bump music. A minute could be cut from almost every song on the album and nobody would miss it. These more electronic minded songs do show the influence Lynch picked up around his 1997 film “Lost Highway,” where he collaborated with Trent Reznor and Marilyn Manson. They’re dark, but a little dated, and the least interesting tracks on the album.

Then there’s “Strange and Unproductive Thinking,” a 7 minute and 30 second oration on the nature of thought, bliss, questioning, and the nature of life itself, ending in a discussion about the benefits of dental hygiene. Poor care of the teeth, it seems, will lead to “Strange and Unproductive Thinking.” It is a philosophical rambling with a practical punch line. The track with the same name as the album, Crazy Clown Time, is the least pleasant to listen to. Lynch speaks is a grating falsetto about four teenagers having a deranged good time. Also seven minutes long, Crazy Clown Time is first annoying, then uncomfortable, and if you make it to the end of the song, downright disturbing. It is the most Lynchian song on the album.

Lynch often cites his childhood in the 50s as a heavily influence on his work, with musical influences like Elvis Presley and the Everly Brothers. The only place these cited influences are evident in the music is in Lynch’s guitar, which he plays himself. He’s no Jimi Hendrix, but his guitar ability is sound. Lynch’s string riffs are soft and bluesy, originating from this 50s influence, but drifting off into a more mysterious sound. It’s a blues guitar you might encounter in a dream, if your dream was an endless dark road where the only stop was a neon lit diner with a stripper waitress and a demon in the bathroom. It trumps the synthesizer and Lynch’s voice as the most effective element on the album.

But the most obvious influence on Lynch’s musical style is the work of his long time collaborator, composer Angelo Badalamenti. Badalamenti first worked with Lynch on “Blue Velvet,” but has scored six of his feature films, plus the Twin Peaks TV series. Badalamenti’s skill lies in creating skin crawling mood music, but he sometimes slips into a soapy, cheesy place. It is no surprise Lynch’s solo music sounds very similar.

But Lynch also evokes Badalamenti in that Crazy Clown Time feels like a soundtrack. Many of the songs tell stories and are successful stand-alone pieces of art, but would probably shine as supporting actors to Lynch’s films. While listening to Crazy Clown Time, it’s easy to picture a modern redux of  Lynch’s 90’s high school murder drama Twin Peaks. Except this time Laura Palmer would have the wardrobe of Gossip Girl and the cinematography of early Lost J.J, Abrams would frame the haunting spirit world of the Black Lodge. It’s a television show we’ll probably never see.

It is Lynch’s greatest flaw and strength that he cannot shake his cinematic instincts. At its best, his music sparks imagination, something that most of today’s mainstream fare cannot boast. But almost every track would be better with some kind of visual, especially a Lynchian visual. And visuals are what Lynch is best at. For a filmmaker who began his career as a painter, it’s impressive that the album transcends a simple mashup of all his favorite musical influences. But it only passes that point barely, and only because Lynch is such a strong personality and creative force. It would be impossible for Lynch to make anything that wasn’t distinctly his work. It is that uniqueness that will follow him in whatever creative endeavor he pursues next. That said, let’s hope it’s a film.